im kinda just existing right now and it feels kinda weird. i feel like a total piece of garbage i guess; not sure why. i wish i wasnt a terrible person. i wish i was normal. i wish for a lot of things in life but idk when or if i should get them, i shouldnt but i dont wanna keep living in this misery. i should be thankful im alive at least. i should start work on phone this wednesday, itll probably help me mentally. that and the whiteboard ive been talking about. bigger trashcan for my room too. i dont know why i feel like this, last night at work a random wave of depression hit and it was pretty bad. not sure why, i think i need to detox or something, i wanna get an ipop because i think itd be cool. but one of those modded ones that go up to 512 gb. itd be sick as hell to listen to aespa on a ipod classic. stuff like that is my purpose in life, cool stuff and doing cool things. thats why julienet exists. julienet isnt just me, its everything i find cool. nostalgia, vaporwave, sonic, kpop, tumblr, archive.org, all of it. its all julienet. the sega dreamcast and ps4 sitting on my table are julienet. thats it. thats my life. its julienet. this is who i am and im not sorry for it. my past catches up with me a lot of the time and i need therapy but thats life. you grow and learn. i wish i would be able to understand that but i havent yet, its lame. ill learn eventually. im gonna take wednesday off cause i need it. i need time to myself and chores. itll benefit me. after everything this week. depression sucks, it is not fun. life is what you make it and being miserable and lazy is just gonna make your life miserable and lazy. not really sure what else to write but i need to be a better person and put in the effort to do so. after july i will be the best person i can be. this has been julie.
©2024 julienet