what if julienet never makes it. what if all this work is for nothing i expect or want... but that also begs the question of what i can bring to julienet that'll make it worth while, and my answer to that is: i don't know. im sitting here at my desk in my apartment and my eye twitching, and its not becoming clear what im doing with myself to make what i want worth it. im not creative in the ways i want to be, i can't edit all too well, i can't make music worth a shit, and im not driven to do anything. the best things i can do is take photos with my phone and write... write write write. i love to write but its kind of difficult to pin-point down what it means to write, why i like doing it, and everything with it. i am a published writer crying out loud, i shouldn't feel creatively bankrupt, but i do. i feel bankrupt in general, the only thing im the best at is telling you which kpop group is worth your time (btw its red velvet and billlie). it all becomes kind of meaningless. maybe there's a meaning for all of it, maybe i should try harder, maybe i should get more inspired by the art i consume and hope it leads me to make something i would view just as good as my main source of inspiration, thats what art is right? building on already exisiting ideas? i should do that. i want to make that signalwave album, i want to make that shoegaze album, i want to make all the art in the fucking world. i will continue to show my love and supprt to my fav groups, i will continue writing blog posts about my love for everything i consume. i love the internet i love my art i love sega i love hybe i love music i love visuals i love my website i love reading i love watching i love everything that is handed to me and im so glad that i can live the life that im living because without it what would i be doing? being boring? that sounds lame. id rather make art for the rest of my life and show everything i make to people. my art is for me and me only and i will keep it that way even if im on my deathbed at 80. i live and die for art and preservaton. we should preserve all art ever made, even if it sucks because who else is going to? the big media? fuck them, they dont care about anything thats worth while, especially art. i hate corporations with a passion, the useless lot, all of them. every single head at a company should go broke. i hate social media too, i hate so much of todays society but i dont like talking about it because it makes me sound like one of those joker nerds. i am julie, i am whatever i want to be in life and i have nothing stopping me from doing that. i am the emphasis of a 2000s child raised on the web. i am everything losers want to be, i have a big ego and im not ashamed of it because if i was than whats the point. i love myself, i love julienet, i love my art, i love everything regarding me and i will continue to do so. i am doing everything every loser wishes they can do because nothing is stopping me. i hate the losers who want the "old web" and only want the aesthetics. start a tumblr then. me? im doing everything regarding the old web, i have a personal website and i BUILT everything from the ground up and i am so god damn proud of what i did and the fact that im only 19 and can learn more FILLS me with a type of determination and excitement. julienet.org isn't just a personal library, its a showcase. i am everything i ever dreamed of being as a child. i am HIM. i am JULIENET.
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